For anyone who doubted it, Sam Smith is apparently a weapon of mass destruction after all: This report is coming to you direct from a laptop computer that scant hours ago was in the custody - along with its owner and his wife - of the Transportation Security Administration at MacArthur Airport in Islip, Long Island. The computer and by inference its owner and wife were suspected of being a WMD. This was not the metaphorical judgment that critics sometimes make about this journal but a literal interpretation of the computer's capabilities given the alleged emission of traces of explosives. What makes this even more remarkable is that the computer in question is a Compaq Presario 1200 purchased in 1999 and currently lacking an F1 and right hand shift key. The most common disparaging remark previously made about it has been, "You still got one of those?"