Bruce Stockler writes that "Father Outsources Best": This Father's Day will be hard, given that you are waking up to find an incomprehensible letter in lieu of your actual daddy, but remember that most children see their dads only a few hours a week anyway, time usually spent yelling and screaming about where the power tools went. Given the extraordinary quality time we have already enjoyed, you've accrued gross hours of paternal affection equal to that of the average 24-year-old. Sure, you can't hug a statistical model, but Mr. Gupta can e-mail you relevant links, and information is more valuable than hugs. When all else fails, Google "Daddy" and I'll know you're thinking of me, because I pull down all the latest data from the 100-Gbit satellite in my refurbished trailer, perched on the edge of a cliff.